All posts by admin

We Are BACK!!!

We have a new play and many new cast members.

Save one (or more) of these dates in 2015:
Fri March 27
Sat March 28*
Sat April 4 (Easter weekend)
Fri April 10
Sat April 11*
* At least one of these Sat will have a dinner at the Inglewood United Church. TBA

The Play:  How Does Your Garden Grow? by Geoff Bamber.
A small hotel is at risk of foreclosure by the bank if it doesn’t fill its 6 rooms over a weekend.
Will it be saved?
Come and find out if this “Faulty Towers” establishment can do it.

Check out the new website and facebook page of the Inglewood Schoolhouse Players.

Tickets will go on sale in the new year.

Don’t worry.

We’ll let you know when & where to get them!

Looking forward to entertaining you in 2015!

We are looking for YOU!

We are looking for actors, stage/production helpers for our upcoming play:

How does Your Garden Grow by Geoff Bamber

Please join us at our Open House

Sunday September 14, 2-4 pm

At Inglewood Community Centre

15825 McLaughlin Rd, Inglewood

Further info: Kathie Maloney 905 838 3351

or Peggy Dickey

or just drop in and share our community theatre experience

Family Album by Noel Coward – 2010

Family Album 1
They will never find his body
Family Album 2
When everyone is special, no one will be.
Turn your head to the left and cough
Turn your head to the left and cough
My impersonation of a rooster
My impersonation of a rooster
Please don't let there be a severed hand in that box. Again.
Please don’t let there be a severed hand in that box. Again.
I don't think she knows how to dance.
I don’t think she knows how to dance.
Family Album 8
And then I put the hand in here
Family Album 9
The Three Tenors have some added help
If I keep my hands on my lap, I won’t be tempted to ravage him.
If I keep my hands on my lap, I won’t be tempted to ravage him.

Star Chamber by Noel Coward 2010

I picked a bad week to give up coffee
I picked a bad week to give up coffee


Star Chamber 3
I think this is faux fake fur.
Star Chamber 4
And if you act now you get this great chair for only $399.99!
Star Chamber 5
I’m glad no one can see I’m not wearing pants
Star Chamber 6
Do you think anyone will notice that the jug is filled with vodka?
Star Chamber 7
I was told there would be kibble.
Star Chamber 8
I knew I should have went with a bow tie instead of a cravat!
Star Chamber 9
No, I’m still mad at you for that kibble quip
Star Chamber 10
My Two Dads, the early years.

House of Wonders by Kate Aspengren – 2008

House of Wonders 10
He knows how to read! I’m so proud.
House of Wonders 9
I have no idea what she is saying.
House of Wonders 8
Do you know how long it takes to tie a bow tie? Well do you?
House of Wonders 7
These boots were made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do…
House of Wonders 6
I can’t believe they served me decaf
House of Wonders 5
But if he was Kaizer Soze…
House of Wonders 4
Who said a post-graduate degree was useless?
House of Wonders 3
Lady in Red, is dancing with me…
House of Wonders 2
So that was a double-double, 10 Timbits and…
House of Wonders 1
But there are too many words in there

Said the Spider to the Fly by Fred Carmichael – 2004

Spider to the Fly 12
Spider to the Fly 11
Suggest helping dispose of ONE body and everybody heads for the door
Spider to the Fly 10
But I like the futon over there
Spider to the Fly 9
So this isn’t Texas?
Spider to the Fly 8
I spiked YOUR coffee… No I spiked YOUR coffee….
Spider to the Fly 7
So, your name is Jack?
Spider to the Fly 6
I dreamed a dream of times gone by…
Spider to the Fly 5
I guess you never thought of how Jack got in the box in the first place
Spider to the Fly 4
Two pretty women and only a love seat… who to choose?
Spider to the Fly 3
But Vera Wang said hats were all the rage this season.
Spider to the Fly 2
I think this coffee tastes a bit off
Spider to the Fly 1
Did anyone think to look in the box?

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark by Tim Kelly – 2013

Dark 11
The big hand is on the 11 and the little hand…
Dark 10
Wait, who am I playing again?
Dark 9
“You shall not pass!”
Dark 8
I sure picked an odd time to start watercolours.
Dark 7
I don’t think Mad Scientists are supposed to have name badges
Dark 6
Method acting: reading in a library
Dark 5
My other dressing room is a video store
Dark 4
So the left hand goes in, then the left hand goes out, then I shake it all about?
Dark 3
Someone tell her she’s supposed to be wearing clothes under her jacket.
Dark 2
Maybe more people will come on the second night.
Dark 1
The desk chair didn’t like being upstaged by the red chair…. revenge would be his