Join the Company

We would love to have you participate in this exciting production. We are currently seeking to fill the following positions:

Lead Actor, Male – Must be at least half decent looking.

Lead Actor, Female – Must be 6’1″, gymnast, better looking than Farrah Fawcett in her prime, and willing to do nude scenes at the webmasters house. For research.

Secondary Actors – Are you breathing? Can you say this line “Can I get your bags sir?” and make it seem like you aren’t reading it off your wrist?

Stage Manager – Must be able to wrangle 10 cats while blindfolded and silent.

Stage Hand – Should be able to juggle 6 flaming batons while quietly ushering actors to their positions.  Also must know everyones’ lines in case they forget.

Lighting Director – The only criteria for this position is the ability to turn the lights on and off.  Can you operate a switch?

Craft Services – Must be a gourmet chef able to produce the most wondrous creations using only crackers and sliced cheese.